Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Ok...so nada surf has this album titled The Weight is a gift. When I first heard it i was thinking of it as The "WAIT" is a gift. That seemed more relevant in my case. So anyway, here's what I am driving at. Though I may hate the whole delay and wait, I guess, God has a plan and a purpose and there is a reason why we have to wait for so long. Besides what cant kill you only makes you stronger! Yes...just a short entry today. Nothing much to say...I have been reading this book I borrowed from the Library-high defination life by Luis Palau. Its quite interesting and I will talk more about it when I am done reading. As for now, I am gonna leave with a quote based on fame. This quote is from Mark Twain and it goes like this "fame is a vapour; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivian."
Cheers C:
Sunday, June 25, 2006
hello...ok...this is really hard to say, but i owe many people apologies. Firstly, there would be Xin, i totally forgot her birthday...(yes yes, call me a sucky friend...whatever, I will never forgive myself either) Then there is Yi Hui who's birthday was a while back too and I told myself I had to remember...but as usual I forget...after when I recalled, liked days later...I did not message her as I felt really bad...but I guess what I did was worst...oh well...I am not that good at making decisions. Anyway...there is more. I guess I havent been a great friend to any of you guys really. Like all of you are stressing out with your o levels while here am I slacking at home. Yes...spending all these good quality time doing nothing..(doesn't that sound like a better deal...in my perspective...No!)....well, so I guess I should be the one to keep our friendships alive...however...no...maybe its the excuse I always give myself that you guys are probably busy and have no time to talk or whatever meet up, something, or maybe its just the fear of finding out how far I have drifted from you all in just this few months.
At times I feel so alone...after thiswhole big news that we are moving...everything has been anything but sure and I just don't know what to expect. Sometimes I find that the longer I stay here...the further away I feel from everyone,even myself, but I guess no one really understand how I am feeling now...(think I should change the subject)
Ok...back to apologies...lets see...ok...this is for someone...you know who you are E. I know I have been really mean and all you have ever been is supportive so I am terribly sorry for being such a 'whatever you wanna call it'...(like fill in the blanks). I know sorry isnt really something that will take back the way I acted and I feel so regretful but I hope you understand how I feel. On top of that, thanks for being so understanding and unselfish towards me. You are a great friend.
Another apology to a friend I use to speak too practically everyday, now I haven't talked to you in lets see...far too long. Well...I know you and I have the same problems and you probably understand me the most, but I am sorry I have not been able to lend you a shoulder to cry on and be your listening ear. Besides that, I guess you are going through a lot more than me and after we shared our "big secrets" (understatement of the year) I feel some sort of responsibility towards you and now I feel so terrible that we have not spoken in a long long time. I guess its my fault and I hope we could still go back to the times we were so close. I guess its almost impossible and you probably dont even come here cos you are so busy, but I just have to say what I feel inside...and now my conscience is bugging me to message you...will do tmr since tonight you are probably busy with work before school starts...or maybe its just me making an excuse, I dunno.
Ok...I really know there are more apologies but I just feel so depressed when I think about all of it. So to sum it all up, I know i have done a lot of people wrong and I am so so sorry, hope you will forgive me, though I guess its reasonable if you don't want too. This sorry should be more than this words and I promised I will try from now onwards. love you
Friday, June 23, 2006
Hey guys...so here comes some happier thoughts...lets see...i went to the zoo yesterday...i know...you are probably thinking 'what's she thinking'...well...i was skeptical about it at first but, I am glad I went. You see, my aunt had free tickets for eight, so i went with my bros, my mum, my 2 aunts, my cousin and my nephew. Well...I havent ben to the zoo in like how many years...i dunno...eons ago. Anyway, it was really really fun and we spent almost the whole day there! hahaha...lets se what are my top 10 favourite animals...
10) Penguins-they are so so cute
9) Camels-they look so under nourished, I feel so sad for them
8) Sea Lions-so smart and entertaining!!
7) Elephants-so large yet so gentle...and they have this amazing balance
6) All the monkeys-there were so many I got sicked of them after a while, but they are really smart anyway...
5) Zebra-its stripes are so pretty and it looks like a nicer version of horses
4) Cheetah-it is so pretty and can run so fast...I wish...
3) Lion-it looks so grand and reminds me of Aslan from Narnia
2) Otter- they are so smart and adorable...esp the one they used during the show!
1) Sun Bear-it is the cutest of all animals and it looks so cuddly...but I bet if you get near it might just whack you or something!
haha...so here is my list and I recommend you go to the zoo sometime with your family or friends...oh and bring a small kid along...it makes it a whole lot more exciting!...here are some pictures of my nephew(ashton) and some animals...cheers!
Monday, June 19, 2006
Well...this is bad...the whole Australia thing is really going from bad to worst that even the agency might just decide in changing the posting, I dunno really. Whatever it is I am leaving it to God. I dunno, its just really annoying and I cant believe this is happening. Oh well...now I don't even feel like going to Perth and all after the way they sort of treated us. Let me explain...the IELTS required was a 7 for the four catogeries (reading, listening, speaking and writing) According to the Bristish council, to get two 7.5, one 6 and another 8!! The overall score was 7.5. Yet just becaused for one catogary she missed by 1 grade, we were not even given a chance. Though they said we could appeal, they later replied that they could not give any preferencial treatment!! I mean...if you did not want to give us any 'preferencial treatment', then why ask us to appeal and act so pathetic in the first place! Urgh...there is so much more but I just know I will get angrier i I write it down...but gosh...its so frustrating and nerve wrecking. ok ok...happier stuff will come next time...promise!
Friday, June 16, 2006
Ok...so I just came back from training. Was supposed to go watch a movie but oh well, it got cancelled. Anyway, I am feeling so tired after having to train so early today. Not that training was tough, but cos I did not sleep well again. Colin woke me up like in the middle of the night when he went to the toilet and he said that I started sleep laughing. haha...Nothing much else to do or say except that I need rest and sleep and I think I am gonna skip afternoon traning today. If not, by this Sunday's Competition I will be so burnt out. K...gonna watch music videos and stuff now...ciao
C:
Thursday, June 15, 2006
hey there...well, so i woke up at 7.15 today cos we had to do some sort of chain prayer thing. so anyway I am exhausted. As usual I went to bed at 11.30 and only slept around 1.30...this is getting so routined I shall not talk about it now. Its like my body is getting use to this routine!
Anyway, I had this dream last night for like the 2nd time and it made me realised so many things. Well, the dream was someting like that, there were like 3 or 4 parties and my friends and I from school were stuck in between some war. I had no idea why we were involved but all i know is that we were the innocent party who had to hide. I seriously don't know how this came about. Anyway, after like running arnd freaking out and hiding for like forever under this really redundant thingys...(to me they felt like those stuff you see in skateboarding parks, but totally out of place...)well, anyway, after like super long time, we were finally free! However as you remembered I had no idea why we were there to begin with, but I knew we were kind of stranded. It was probably a school trip to I have no idea where. It was scary and like so many people died. So when I came out from hiding I went around looking for people and I met up with like teri, claire and some other sec 4 prefects. We decided to go to this clean river to bathe..(haha...) we thought we were the onlyones. Then we saw Hannah N and we were so overjoyed. Hannah said that the rest were somewhere back where she was from, so we started asking her if we knew where blah blah blah was. I remember so clearly asking if she had seen Fong and Shu and she said no. Then all of us started freaking and started realizing how we missed all the rest. Then, a certain teacher appeared to tell us to call our parents. Just at that moment my mum woke me...haha...
Well, morale of the story is to treasure your friends while you still have them before its too late. I was just wondering, i know God speaks to people through dreams at times but, how does dreams come about(cos some are really random), and does God control them? These are super thought provoking so ya, any ideas??
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
What can i say...they said NO again. They referring to Perth. Now we have to wait for the Melbourne Board meeting tmr. Please Lord shower your supernatural favour on us! I am so so frustrated and annoyed!
Argh...I went to bed at like 12 last night after updating my blog. I listened to my Ipod till like 1.40am cos I just kept thinking of random stuff. I think I slept at 2am. Its so frustrating. My whole body is not working fine now and my whole system feels like is going haywire and gonna crash. I have training later and I am feeling so tired. Given up on studying already...Only did like 4 math questions and my brain is dead! This whole thing is taking a huge toll on me in every aspect. I need sleep!!! Gosh, this is so so annoying. I am like complaining to myself and no one really cares. No one really understand what I am going through now...everyone thinks I am having the time of my life and I have to act like I am...dang...I am sick of being someone I am not...I better stop blabbering on and on...but all I am asking now is for you Lord to show your supernatural favour and guide us!!
:c :C :c
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Hi there...i am promising myself that from now onwards i am gonna update my blog like once in 2 to 3 days! so yes...i must! Besides that...well life for me is pretty boring now...the only place i really ever go to is training. Besides that, i wld just be at home surfing the net, strumming my guitar or watching TV. People might think its really fun but honestly its not! It really sucks that you don't really know what is gonna happen to ya in like the next month or something! I don't know, i mean only if you are in my position will you know how it feels like. Its scary how all this happened so fast but I am glad it did. Not that i want to skip exams and all cos when i get there things will be just as tough, but this break has been good. For once i am so free, instead of running around aimlessly all day, not giving any time to Him.
Besides that, I am still like so frustrated and annoyed by the people on the other side. All they have to say is NO and we have to go throught the whole mind draining process once again! Its slowly killing me! I really want to just go over there and start things proper...my school, my sports, my music, whatever...anything I enjoy, but now all we can do is wait. Its really hard to just trust fully in Him sometimes, like you want to but you just can't. Maybe its cos we always rely on our ownselves thus we don't see him work...i really don't know. All i can say is that i am confused! There are so many things I either wanna do but i keep feeling like I can't or should not and there are those things staring at me right at my face but I just don't wanna do it! Its really hard to explain...but i just gotta get it of my chest!
Its like 11 now and I don't know why i am feeling tired...i usually only sleep at one though i have like nothing to do. I would like lie in bed for an hour or two listening to music or thinking about so many things. After which, when i feel like sleeping its probably around one or two and i take another half an hour! Its really wierd considering I have nothing to do. I mean its fine if I am schooling and studying and all, but...at the state I am in, its just not normal! I don't know which part of me is normal now anyway...gosh this is depressing me further, shall continue another time! This was supposed to be a short post on my promise to update...but oh well...just ignore this rantings if you are busy...but I guess if you have reached here it's a little too late to say that ya...well, whatever...but since you are so free to even read this (I figure I am probably talking to myself again) i suggest you go check out this artist-fall out boy..all their songs are like stuck in my head and they make me feel much better...like I don't feel so down and delirious when I am listening...so Yup!!
Last piece of advice...don't think so much!
Chris